my metaphorical onion..

Life recently has been.. a learning experience, it seems would be the most appropriate description. Not gonna lie, it’s been a little up & down but still there were times in this past week that I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with His goodness & love despite where I was willing to meet Him at. Whether this took the form of a good conversation with a close friend, feeling His favor when I know I’m furthering the things that are on His heart, or even just by looking up at a beautiful post-storm sky, it’s been clear that His love & faithfulness is unwavering. I mean, even today, some of my hallmates actually came to church with my roommate & I! We’ve both been praying about it a lot, but it definitely had nothing to do our convincing skills.. it’s just such a relief knowing that He can still use me even though I hardly ever feel qualified enough to be used.
Also, even though I’ve realized that I suck at being vulnerable (sorry friends), I am still SOO so thankful to be surrounded by such incredible people! Honestly, I’m pretty sure I know some of the most amazing people that exist on this planet. 

Sorry this post was super random & non-collected, I have a lot of thoughts that are going in circles around my head, but I can’t seem to get them to stop long enough to type them down/understand them.. even my journal entries have become variations of verbal tornadoes. I guess this is why I’m not an english major huh.. 

ps. shout out to the friend that encouraged me to post heh <3 

It seems like every time I stay at school for a prolonged few weeks, I forget how wonderful it is to come home. Yes, the home-cooked food is a nice break from canned soup & random sandwiches, but most of all I love & miss the good times with my fams and psycho dog. I just had a 3 hr long conversation on the gigantic couch in the living room with my mom, both of us tucked under a thick blanket with warm cups of tea, because my asian parents refuse to turn on the heater in this freezing house. But despite that, it felt incredibly nice to just chat with her like I would a close friend, sharing with her the recent updates on my life & what God has been revealing to me lately. I found that despite our joking around & my constant making fun of her for being such a drama queen, my mums is someone who I so highly respect & admire. We got into talking about things that have been on my mind recently, & she just reminded me that in every decision that I make, just to focus on what can bring God the most glory. & that is so so true. In whatever I say & do, I think that if it is a step I can take which will bring Him the most glory, then that should be my main concern & everything should fall secondary to that. 

ps. i will try to write on this poor, abandoned tumblr more often.. 
pps. this site is not as user-friendly as i expected.

OKAY! So im not sure how this whole “blogging” thing is supposed to work/sound/read cuz I feel like im talking to cyberspace, but I guess I’ll just.. type out my train of thought. OH and I will make an attempt to blog semi-regularly (motivation credit goes to steph mikamo.. exhibit A: please see post below).
The last time I had a blog was through xanga, but that died out relatively quickly considering that im pretty sure noone really read it, and i started it in middle school, which equated to many entries that were cryptic, emo lyrics and/or quotes, you know.. the “in” thing to do at that time.

AANyway, since this is my first post, I suppose I should introduce myself.. (I’ll limit this to 10 things because facebook’s “25 random things” can be a little much.)

1. When I first got into UCI, I decided to go undeclared under the school of humanities because i figured i liked humans.. not the best idea, considering that that school has basically nothing to with my current major, public health science. sigh.
2. I don’t like mint-flavored things, even mint chocolate chip ice cream or girl scout thin mints. Wait, except for minty toothpaste but I think that’s different cuz you don’t eat it.
3. I have a brother who is both 2 years younger and substantially larger than me.. he is also mildly abusive towards me and pretty dang awesome.
4. One of the lessons that I’ve learnt within this year is that very few things in life really matter. I mean, initially there are countless “priorities” and obligations, but when it comes down to it, there are only a handful of things in life that really, really matter.
5. I’m pretty indecisive, and it annoys me. But that doesn’t help, cuz I still have a problem with making decisions! augh. so annoying.
6. My womens small group and the relationships I’ve been able to build through it has really been one of the biggest surprises and blessings for me this past year.
7. Often I feel like every aspect of my life is some sort of unrealistic game of tug-of-war:  spending time with edge kiddies vs. hallmates, studying vs. socializing, academic pursuits vs. serving within the church, accomplishing all of this vs. sleep. More often than not trying to maintain this tug-of-war balance really stresses me out.
8. I enjoy being active.. biking, hiking, swimming, yogging. Before I die (hopefully far before I die), I’d like to run a full marathon, ideally w/ a friend or future..person..  ORR do one of thos mini-triathalons (I’m definitely too wimpy to try for the real thing).
9. I can count one hand the things that I regret doing in my life, or wish that I’d done differently.
10. I’ve recently realized that I love this season in my life right now, so I’m trying not to be too nostalgic about the past or constantly worrying about my future, but instead focusing on and enjoying the present!

Err, okay I think this was an adequate introduction of myself, at least for now.. thanks for reading, peeps! Sorry that this entry was the length of a dictionary!

<3, jocelyn